Dear You Both.

I'm utterly mad. Like, Seriously.

Masa Depan

Sudah jelas sekali tidak ada umat manusia (yang saya percaya) bisa melihat masa depan, termasuk Deddy C, Mama L, dan magician atau clairvoyant lainnya, buat saya itu hanya impian semata apalagi sampai bisa tergambar dengan jelas, yang jelas biarlah masa depan hanya menjadi rahasia ilahi yang harus kita sebagai manusia jalani *tsaaah!

Ada apa dengan masa depan?

Sore kemarin saya iseng-iseng bertanya kepada Ayahanda tentang jaman dulu dia baru mulai keluarga, dengan pertanyaan tajam nan tumpul, "Pa, waktu si mama lahir gw perasaannya gimana?" dengan gugupgagap dia jawab dengan simple "Takut sih". Entah dimana letak ketakutannya, tapi dari takut itu bikin saya berpikir, Apa yang bakal kejadian nanti ya?

Impian buat jadi orang sukses selalu ada, bahkan saking seringnya berangan angan dan bermimpi tentang kesuksesan di masa depan sampai lupa, apa ya yang harus gw lakukan sekarang? Memang jawaban pasti ya, selesaiin Kerja Praktek, Tugas Akhir, terus keluar deh dari sarang lebah itu.

Dari masa depan yang terlalu depan, kalau gw tarik agak mundur, gw jadi berpikir tentang dunia perkuliahan gw yang rasa rasanya nggak kelar kelar. Sebagai contoh, kerja praktek, di kampus gw yang terletak di bilangan Jakarta Barat, sistem kerja praktek ini setiap minggu harus asistensi dengan dosen pembimbing, dan ini udah minggu ke (?) dan saya belum asistensi.

Ingin rasanya terus mimpi dan terus merancang masa depan sekokoh menyusun lego di jaman kecil dulu, tapi kalau lego lego tersebut nggak gw susun dari bawah tentu saja bakal roboh atau mungkin ngga setinggi yang diinginkan.

Lagi lagi gw dibuat berpikir, masa depan harus dibuat dari step step masa sekarang ini. Benar juga.

Yah semoga saja lego yang gw susun sekarang bisa sekokoh dan sebesar yang saya bayangkan. Toh ada pepatah yang mengatakan "semua orang sukses dimulai dari mimpi" . Sekian dulu coretan uneg unegnya, semoga kalian yang sedang KP atau TA atau Skripsi bisa buat lego yang kuat dan besar. 

The Faith and Future

There is a certain reason for the background of this stupid writings. 

It's not just another cool Buddha pic that linger in the left of the picture.

The thing is in my late 21 i feel like it is time to take a leap into a specific Faith, i (maybe) believe in this Faith right now because somehow it leads me towards (maybe) something good.

Like for example, Lass. I have been with some lasses which don't share the same faith, and the result was horrible, far more horrible than expectation, but in this late year of mine, it got me thinking, maybe it is time to let Faith take care of me, in a relationship way i presume.

Another thing that made me think about faith and future, if i rely on my faith, somehow it leads me to a better way and a brighter way for my future. I was a faithless boy who leads his future to demise without gripping on any faith, failed in business few times and stuffs, but now i think faith leads me somewhere good.

The point is, Faith can leads me anywhere without giving bad direction. So now it's just me whether if i walk on the right track or the otherwise.

Clowns Are Clowns, Or not.

It's been a while since the last time i wrote, and it was all about crappy, cheesy, slimey, gooey but true and pure extraction from my heart *tsaaah~


okay, according to title, why clowns and what's with the sad clown?
maybe i'll tell you a little about correlation about love, religion, and me.


About love,
It's been a few times i was in a relationship with someone, none of them have the same faith as mine, and none of them have a good ending with me. so it got me thinking, maybe it is time to look for the right partner, and at the same time a friend of mine told me this, " easy to get, easy to lost ". at first i said it was a stupid superstition but after this few times of unwanted ending with "easy to get" partner i believe it.


What's it got to do with religion and me?
As i mention above, none of my last partners had same religion as me, and our stories didn't end very well, and it got me thinking (again) why not look for the same religion now? I'm 21 years old, isn't it about time to get things serious? maybe too early, but what the hell? why don't I get use to real, and mature relationship?


And lastly about the clowns,
So the Almighty gave me another chance with someone new, with the same religion as mine, and really difficult to approach, and this got me thinking (again, and yes again) are You giving me the right partner this time? sure thing i can be the clown, entertaining and stuffs, but will You let me be the clown? will i be just a clown? will clowns just be clowns? or this clown can be her partner and be a normal, heartwarming, and fulfilling partner?


Current Mood Song * Landon Pigg - Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop
Eijhen

and again I try to

banyak hal yang bisa terjadi dalam satu menit, apalagi satu tahun.


apa yang jadi masa lalu belum tentu ngga akan terulang lagi di masa depan


and once again I try to continue my legacy, without reminiscing the dreadful past.